Celebrities Unite!

You know, there comes a point in every celebrity's life when they have to rise up and take a stand against all the injustice in the world. Their hearts are heavy with the suffering and oppression of people dying from disease, genocide and natural disasters. They must, in order to be dutiful and serviceable world citizens, put a face on these grievances and volunteer their notoriety and status to send a message of peace and well-being. Then I threw-up.

One of the many things I hate about celebrities is their attempt to add depth to their personas by adopting a cause. There is nothing lamer than seeing an entertainer, speak out against the war, or advocate for a particular disease or oppressed people. This all in an attempt to make us believe they care about something other than their shallow existence singing, dancing and acting like the trained monkey's they are.

As if they think I respect them so much; I'm willing to donate my time and money to a cause they endorse. I couldn't think of a more conceited, self-serving act to get them the publicity they need to advance their careers. If they truly cared about what's going on in the world, they wouldn't have gone into acting, but instead worked to better the world full time. Unfortunately for them, there's no money in volunteering . . . except when volunteering means you gain more fans to see your movies or buy your CDs.

Same goes for all politicians.